Tom Turpin
Professor of
Purdue University







If Santa Were An Entomologist

Dear Santa,

Could you please,
Leave something for those fleas
That on our cats and dogs do prey?
Or what about those beetles that on our roses stay?
And don't forget the grubs so white
That are not at all contrite
Because the grass is dead
In the lawn spots where they fed.
It would certainly be nice
To have a treatment for those lice
That the school nurse discovered
When the kid's heads were uncovered.
And what about those moths of brown
That flutter in and around
The clothing closet in the hall
When they're not resting on the wall?
Are the beetles in the flour bin
Likely to come in again
If the flour is tossed away
Or merely treated with a spray?
What advice can you give
For yellow jackets that live
In a hole in the wall
And show up almost every fall
To steal from the picnic plate
Or just plain aggravate
Those folks who would stand
And drink beverage from a can?
Could you provide some Old Claus insight
Into things that would be right
To rid our house of the vermin
Known as the cockroach called the German?
And Santa is there any way
To keep pesky mosquitoes at bay,
Or trick them into thinking
That our blood is not worth taking?

Merry Christmas and a bugless New Year!


Writer: Tom Turpin
Editor: Andrea McCann